I have this strange fear. I am not sure if it even classifies as a fear, it is more of a hindrance. I do not like to go into new restaurants on my own. Funny huh? It has everything to do with not knowing systems, the menu, and how I am suppose to order. For some reason my confidence is shaken by having to take a few extra minutes to read the menu or ask what is good. It is an irrational fear.
Many times God asks us to do something, and our response is a lack of confidence die to irrational fears. I know this happens to me often … I am prompted to talk to someone, challenged to read something, or even go places I have never been. You can almost hear the quiver in my voice, “You are sending me?” I edge out. As if the Creator of the university had a whim and thought it would be fun to send me into a situation and see how I squirm. Last I checked He is a God of order and not chaos, (I Corinthians 14:33) and would never send people anywhere to so something they are not equipped to accomplish. So why the hesitation … my own lack of confidence.
John writes to a young congregation of believers about this exact subject …
“This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” (I John 3:19-20)
God is greater than our hearts … that is my favorite part of John’s gentle reminder. He knows what I am capable of, he created my gifts, and he has the advantage of knowing what will unfold in my future. Breathe in, breathe out I say … and be at rest in His presence.
We are going to blame this one on my dad.
From as early as I can remember we were a technologically advanced house hold. We never had robots cooking dinner or remote controls drapes … but there was always a presence of modern technology. Fortunately my dad did not jump on the beta bandwagon, but I vividly remember unpacking and connecting our first Commodore 64 – complete with 4-7/8s floppy and a tape drive for storage!
I have never been afraid of using technology or it ever overpowering me. However, there is a slight queasiness I get when I have to turn off my phone when I get on an airplane and I like to know where and when I will have email access at all times. Perhaps I am slightly dependent or addicted.
I this era of cyber-everything I often wonder where we are going with this technology- based, internet infused life. Hopefully not too far … the interesting aspect is that it potentially can make us closer (while writing this post I am also chatting with a friend in another state and one on another continent – I am saving a ton in postage and phone calls!).
Thus, I am lead to the beginning of the blogging phase of my life. I cannot promise earth moving revelations or even complete lucidness with each posting. However, I will strive to keep them meaningful and hopefully thought provoking. And staying true to my teacher roots, I am already devising plans to utilize this technology in my classroom. As my dad taught me, if we have access to technology we should learn to use it well and properly.
What prompted this technological autobiography? I was reading {a real} newspaper during lunch today. The opinion section was littered with editorials about the right to post and blog and what should be censored or forbidden on individual sites. Without getting into the debate of free speech and the First Amendment, I am going to borrow a thought from an author of one of the viewpoint pieces…
"…But, fellow students, don’t gloat yet – while you have the right to say whatever you want on or off public property … your right to free speech doesn’t make you immune to the other consequences your actions might have – consequences that are perfectly legal…. And while it may be your right to post whatever you want to say, consider that your words may have unintended consequences."
[Staff Editorial - The Collegiate Times – Virginia Tech (as cited in Daily Vidette, Friday, January 20, 2006, p.4)]I know that I have responsibility to you those brave few who will read what I write. I hope it is uplifting, encouraging, and stimulating. Happy reading, happy thinking, happy blogging … where is my mp3 player??
